lesson 2 : The MOST COMMON MISCONCEPTION OF LOVE

This subject covers a very broad area, so I'll do my best to get to it all :) "I LOVE YOU" These words are by far the most misused words in the english dictionary.You see some people saying this to each other after a day or two of being together. This is the most extreme form of the misconception. For those who DON'T know, love isn't something you can achieve in one day, or one week, or even one month. Now don't get me wrong, I truly believe in "love at first sight", but that's not the full manifestation of love, yet. :) Love is like a seed planted in a meadow, which with the right amount of TLC, grows over time, getting bigger and stronger everyday, until it becomes the most beautiful tree you've ever seen in your life. :) When you tell someone "you love them" before you actually do love them, you are cheapening the moment that you really DO fall in love with them. If you're in the beginning stages of love, plant the seeds of love, respectfulness, trust, honesty, encouragement, companionship and compassion. YOU have to be your partners best friend, you have to prove your reliability, you need to compromise, and you have to listen to what your significant other has to say and reply to it sincerely. Love is always taking your partners feelings into consideration. It's a kind word and a warm embrace when it's needed most. (that always feels good :) Love is supporting and encouraging your partner in his/her endeavors. Love is sharing your everything with someone who wants to share their everything with you. Which brings me back to the subject.. Now that we've got an idea of what love IS, let's talk about what it's NOT. It's not love if it's not happening on both ends. Until recently, i thought i had been in love several times, but upon further review, I find that I've never even came close. Every relationship I've been involved in was a one sided affair. I never cheated, was openly honest and caring, never physically beat any of them, and tried to always put them before me. Unfortunately for me, I never received the same thing in return. I got a lot of argument, was cheated on, endured hours of hateful words, and received very little encouragement if any at all. I was loving them while they gave me nothing but a hard time in return. This is not love, much to my dismay :) If you're cheating or beating your "loved one", you simply don't truly love that person. You may care about them deeply, but if you're not compassionate for them, you simply don't truly love them. I know a lot of people will disagree with that, but it's the truth, as i see it. If your in a relationship and you're not giving it 100% of who you are (lying cheating,..), you're not doing your part, and until you start doing your part, you'll be in the misconception, not the real thing. The bottom line is this, If you're in the beginning stages of a relationship or in one in general, do everything you can to show your partner that you can and want to be everything they deserve in a life mate. Plant the seeds of love together and watch it grow... together. Be the best friend you can be to them, and let them know that you cherish every moment spent with them. Show them everyday that you're where you want to be, with the person you want to be there with. Know that you're building up to the love that you're trying to find. When you get there, you'll know you're there, because everyone will tell you how beautiful it is to see :) Know the difference between the misconception and the real thing. Then keep it real :)    - Steve Burns

lesson 1: The HATEFUL WORDS

If you're in a relationship, this is one of, if not THE biggest mistake u can make! (next to cheating n beating) Once you've said the HATEFUL WORDS, they CANNOT be taken back!! You see, most of us sane people forgive and forget, but when you are the target of these words (we all know the words and I'm not gonna glorify them here) they echo in the back of our mind, and reverberate through our souls every time we hear or see the person who said them. Know that once you've said these words, you have sabotaged all chances of attaining your relationships FULL potential !   Don't get me wrong, I see plenty of couples who say these words on a daily basis, too many, and still claim they are in love with their partners and spend their whole life together. But that's not true love. I don't want to know WHAT that is, but its no way to live, at all !! What you end up with is a life filled with sorrow, regret, discontent, and sometimes even malice! If you think, or know you have said the HATEFUL WORDS, try to remember exactly what they were,(because your target definitely does) then respectfully and sincerely apologize to them. :) This wont change anything, but its a start for sure! :) What we have to learn to do people, is recognize when things are getting out of hand, then !!!STOP!!! and put yourself in the others shoes. COMPASSION . This is the word of the day.  :) Compassion is feeling what the other person feels. To be successful in a relationship, you have to have honesty, respect, encouragement, trust, compromise, and compassion. Without all of these present, the truest form of love will be unattainable. For once you've lost one, you've lost the rest of them too. Bottom line, if you are truly in love with someone, you NEVER want to see them in even the slightest amount of pain, emotionally or physically. If you've ever cheated on or beat on or said the hateful words, know that you were/are not in love. If you are/were in a relationship where you get cheated on or beaten or are the target of HATEFUL WORDS, know that this is not love. This is THE MOST COMMON MISCONCEPTION OF LOVE, and that's all it has the potential of ever being.  !!!NEVER SAY THE HATEFUL WORDS!!!   -SteveBurns                        P.S. : hurtful/hateful - pretty much the same thing :)